have you met my buddy Alex? he’s over at the bar
here’s a guy who’s cheated death a couple times so far
I know just what your thinkin’: that’s one lucky son of a gun
well, the story I’m about to tell is as crazy as they come

first time Alex cheated death he was working on some pipes
elevated ‘neath the ceiling up in nauseating heights
duly fastened to his lift he’d never lose his grip
but someone fucked up royally and the thing began to tip

before he had a chance to grasp the “who”, the “when”, the “how”
Alex and his trusty lift went crashing towards the ground
he had fractures in his face, he had fractures all around
but no matter from which height he falls
you can’t keep a good man down

Alexander, Alexander, look out for yourself
we’re like expensive wine: we ain’t the youngest on the shelf
I know the truth is tough and it’s a size that doesn’t fit
don’t push your luck too far
we’re getting too old for this shit

next time Alex cheated death was at Punk Rock Holiday
he plunged into that Madball sound by leaping from the stage
stage dive number one was good, as was number two
but number three went straight to hell and nearly put him in his tomb

he woke up in a hospital in the middle of the day
with stiffness and a headache doctors sent him on his way.
the boys came round to pick him up, they took the road back home
but after half a week of pain Alex knew something was wrong

he went to get a x-ray to rule out any bad
the image showed his vertebrae broken in two halves
doctors reinforced his neck with plates and nails of steel
after days of living on the edge his broken neck began to heal

Alexander, Alexander, look out for yourself
we’re like expensive wine: we ain’t the youngest on the shelf
I know the truth is tough and it’s a size that doesn’t fit
don’t push your luck too far
we’re getting too old for this shit

bee sting in the mouth, but just a swollen lip
ceramic shards in his arm, but nothing serious
18-wheeler dead ahead blows out straight into the ditch
and Alex keeps truckin’ on, that lucky son of a bitch